awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's blow job season.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
