Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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