so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
