It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
