I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
