Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
