There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
