Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
