Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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