Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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