I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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