Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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