Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
