We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
