M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
