There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
