Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
