It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
