I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
