No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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