when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
