True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
