what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Alive.
So much puke
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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