last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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