Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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