:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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