I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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