i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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