Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
