just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
