When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
