i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
