I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
