she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
