Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
