i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
