At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
