I'm jealous of your bromance
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My liver just had a heart attack.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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