You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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