you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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