I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize