I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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