We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
