Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
