No more Irish car bombs ever.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
