i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
