The maid of honor just puked.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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