Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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