I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
