I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize