Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for

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(217): View more from Illinois

Why is there a cactus in the microwave?

(1-217): View more from Illinois

Don't worry about it.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.

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(713): View more from Texas

As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..

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(804): View more from Virginia

The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."

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(407): View more from Florida

I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.

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(206): View more from Washington

he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...

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(618): View more from Illinois

Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.

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