Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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(281): View more from Texas

so now she's a stripper

(1-281): View more from Texas

can't say i'm surprised

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(661): View more from California

Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.

(1-661): View more from California

Lol thats a classic

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(619): View more from California

there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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(316): View more from Kansas

i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?

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(678): View more from Georgia

Someone shattered a urinal.

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(972): View more from Texas

honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.

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(415): View more from California

I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law

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