I think I am morally bankrupt
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
