What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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