3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
