Quick, to the slutcave!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
