sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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