gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
