So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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