you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
