Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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