she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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